1
00:00:01,968 --> 00:00:04,968
( theme music playing )
2
00:01:00,934 --> 00:01:02,734
Louie, this is Rieger in 264.
3
00:01:02,767 --> 00:01:06,534
Just dropped off a fare from
the airport at 79th and Park.
4
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:07,834
LOUIE:
Got it.
5
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:11,400
By the way, Rieger,
better be on the lookout.
6
00:01:11,434 --> 00:01:12,767
It's a full moon.
7
00:01:12,801 --> 00:01:14,801
You know what that means.
8
00:01:14,834 --> 00:01:18,400
Every creep in this city
will be out tonight.
9
00:01:18,434 --> 00:01:22,968
Well, be sure to wear a jacket,
Louie, it's getting chilly.
10
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:27,167
You think you're a real
Jan Murray, don't you, Rieger?
11
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:28,300
WOMAN:
Taxi!
12
00:01:28,334 --> 00:01:29,667
Louie, I got a fare.
13
00:01:29,701 --> 00:01:30,834
Get back to you.
14
00:01:33,801 --> 00:01:35,300
Taxi!
15
00:01:43,501 --> 00:01:46,968
Shea stadium, please.
16
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,767
There's no game tonight.
17
00:01:51,934 --> 00:01:55,534
I didn't ask for
the schedule, thank you.
18
00:02:01,501 --> 00:02:03,934
WOMAN:
Oh, that's Shea stadium, huh?
19
00:02:03,968 --> 00:02:05,167
ALEX:
That's it.
20
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:08,267
You call that a ballpark?
21
00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:09,667
Well, it looks better
with the lights on.
22
00:02:12,167 --> 00:02:15,901
Old Ebbets field looked good
even in the dark.
23
00:02:15,934 --> 00:02:18,434
Lady, I didn't build
the place, I just...
24
00:02:18,467 --> 00:02:19,534
Well, never mind, never mind.
25
00:02:19,567 --> 00:02:21,667
Just take me
to La Guardia airport.
26
00:02:21,701 --> 00:02:24,968
I know a place
at the end of one the runways
27
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,067
where the big ones
come down so close
28
00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:31,100
the lights shine
right in the window
29
00:02:31,133 --> 00:02:34,133
and you can hear them
lower their landing gear,
30
00:02:34,167 --> 00:02:36,501
they come down so close.
31
00:02:41,534 --> 00:02:43,534
Hey, full moon...
32
00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:51,033
( engine roars )
33
00:02:55,334 --> 00:02:57,667
That's the closest one
yet, Alex.
34
00:02:57,701 --> 00:03:00,934
Yeah, I think he left
some rubber on the roof.
35
00:03:00,968 --> 00:03:02,767
I like you.
36
00:03:02,801 --> 00:03:05,167
Most cab drivers want to talk.
37
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,801
They do nothing
but ask me questions all night.
38
00:03:08,834 --> 00:03:10,133
I know what you mean.
39
00:03:10,167 --> 00:03:11,501
Do you do this often?
40
00:03:11,534 --> 00:03:13,868
Oop! That was
a question, I'm sorry.
41
00:03:13,901 --> 00:03:15,067
Aw, that's okay.
42
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:17,000
I do it every once
in a while.
43
00:03:17,033 --> 00:03:18,400
I love New York City.
44
00:03:18,434 --> 00:03:20,200
I've lived here
all my life.
45
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:23,467
I was at Woolworth's
35 years.
46
00:03:23,501 --> 00:03:26,367
You should have used
the express line.
47
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:27,400
( laughing )
48
00:03:27,434 --> 00:03:28,868
Got you
that time, huh?
49
00:03:28,901 --> 00:03:31,167
I was a clerk
on the candy counter.
50
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,634
Oh.
51
00:03:32,667 --> 00:03:36,300
Say, why don't we drive past
the store I used to work at,
52
00:03:36,334 --> 00:03:38,434
then you can take a look at it?
53
00:03:38,467 --> 00:03:39,434
Is it on our way?
54
00:03:39,467 --> 00:03:41,234
Everything is on our way.
55
00:03:41,267 --> 00:03:43,400
Let's go.
56
00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:49,067
( horns honking )
57
00:03:55,801 --> 00:03:59,400
Well, here's
where I call home.
58
00:03:59,434 --> 00:04:02,367
I had a very nice time.
59
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,601
You know something?
So did I.
60
00:04:04,634 --> 00:04:05,734
Yeah.
61
00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:07,901
Well, why don't
you pick me up here
62
00:04:07,934 --> 00:04:10,067
tomorrow night,
say about 6:00-ish?
63
00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:13,934
Oh, I'm sorry, Dee, I check into
the garage around 5:00, 5:30,
64
00:04:13,968 --> 00:04:16,434
and I never know how
long I have to wait for the day driver
65
00:04:16,467 --> 00:04:18,501
to bring in a cab
I can use.
66
00:04:18,534 --> 00:04:19,868
Oh, that's too bad.
67
00:04:19,901 --> 00:04:23,167
Well, maybe I'll see
you again sometime.
68
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:24,434
For sure.
69
00:04:24,467 --> 00:04:27,200
How much do I owe you
for the trip tonight?
70
00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:29,534
Well, I warned you
it was going to be high.
71
00:04:29,567 --> 00:04:31,200
Uh... $74.25.
72
00:04:31,234 --> 00:04:33,534
Here. Would you
stop worrying?
73
00:04:33,567 --> 00:04:35,734
Believe me,
I'm comfortable.
74
00:04:35,767 --> 00:04:39,434
In fact, I'm filthy comfortable.
75
00:04:39,467 --> 00:04:41,601
On a Woolworth's pension?
76
00:04:41,634 --> 00:04:43,400
( chuckles )
77
00:04:43,434 --> 00:04:45,901
No, you see, Alex,
when I was young,
78
00:04:45,934 --> 00:04:48,834
girls my age were supposed
to get married,
79
00:04:48,868 --> 00:04:51,901
but something told me not to,
so I didn't,
80
00:04:51,934 --> 00:04:54,400
and then I went to work instead.
81
00:04:54,434 --> 00:04:56,234
Just a few months
82
00:04:56,267 --> 00:05:01,467
before I was retiring,
I met this very wealthy man.
83
00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:06,467
He asked me to marry him, and,
uh, something told me to accept.
84
00:05:06,501 --> 00:05:10,167
Four months after
the wedding, he died
85
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,667
and he left me
everything.
86
00:05:12,701 --> 00:05:16,100
There's a moral
in there somewhere.
87
00:05:18,467 --> 00:05:20,734
Well, thank you, ma'am,
it was very nice.
88
00:05:20,767 --> 00:05:22,701
Yes. Now, I'd
like to give you
89
00:05:22,734 --> 00:05:24,267
a really
good tip, Alex.
90
00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:26,467
What's the best tip
you ever got?
91
00:05:26,501 --> 00:05:29,267
Well, a guy gave me $25 once.
92
00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:30,501
Yeah.
93
00:05:30,534 --> 00:05:31,767
Well...
94
00:05:31,801 --> 00:05:35,434
here's $26.
95
00:05:35,467 --> 00:05:40,367
Congratulations, Alex,
you set a new record.
96
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,601
Well, thank you. I couldn't have
done it without you.
97
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,200
Yeah.
98
00:05:44,234 --> 00:05:45,834
Hey, let me
help you out.
99
00:05:45,868 --> 00:05:48,234
Forget it.
100
00:06:12,133 --> 00:06:13,133
TONY:
Hey, Lou--
101
00:06:13,167 --> 00:06:14,167
Hey, Lou, how about
102
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,167
putting me in one of
them clean cabs?
103
00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,467
Man, you're always
sticking me in pigpens.
104
00:06:18,501 --> 00:06:20,234
Oh, yeah,
I know what you mean.
105
00:06:20,267 --> 00:06:22,167
You want me
to explain it to you?
106
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:23,467
Yeah.
You got a minute?
107
00:06:23,501 --> 00:06:24,868
Yeah, yeah, sure.
108
00:06:24,901 --> 00:06:27,000
Come here.
You see, it's like this:
109
00:06:27,033 --> 00:06:28,934
I don't give a rat's corpse
110
00:06:28,968 --> 00:06:31,467
whether you get
a clean cab or not.
111
00:06:32,801 --> 00:06:33,801
Oh... okay.
112
00:06:33,834 --> 00:06:36,501
Thanks for
explaining it to me.
113
00:06:39,033 --> 00:06:40,834
I enjoyed it.
114
00:06:42,601 --> 00:06:44,300
It never fails,
you know?
115
00:06:44,334 --> 00:06:45,434
Every full moon
116
00:06:45,467 --> 00:06:47,801
I get people too crazy
for Bellevue.
117
00:06:47,834 --> 00:06:49,767
My very first fare
last night
118
00:06:49,801 --> 00:06:52,501
was a guy who introduces
himself as God.
119
00:06:52,534 --> 00:06:55,033
Well, I had
an interesting night myself.
120
00:06:55,067 --> 00:06:58,234
Yeah, I picked up, uh,
three drunks and a flasher
121
00:06:58,267 --> 00:06:59,567
two transvestites...
122
00:06:59,601 --> 00:07:01,667
Oh, yeah, and one guy
who thought
123
00:07:01,701 --> 00:07:04,434
I was the most beautiful
woman in the world.
124
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:08,534
Just crazies like that shouldn't
be allowed out on the streets.
125
00:07:08,567 --> 00:07:09,400
Hey!
126
00:07:09,434 --> 00:07:10,534
TONY:
Yo, Alex!
127
00:07:10,567 --> 00:07:12,000
ALEX:
Yo, ho, ho.
128
00:07:12,033 --> 00:07:16,033
Hey, Alex, did you get any
full moon crazies last night?
129
00:07:16,067 --> 00:07:17,133
No, I lucked out.
130
00:07:17,167 --> 00:07:18,667
I got this very
charming old lady
131
00:07:18,701 --> 00:07:20,634
who just wanted to
drive around and talk.
132
00:07:20,667 --> 00:07:21,634
Oh, yeah?
133
00:07:21,667 --> 00:07:24,300
You drove around
all night and talked?
134
00:07:24,334 --> 00:07:25,834
She tipped me 26 bucks.
135
00:07:25,868 --> 00:07:27,734
For 26 bucks
I'd drive around
136
00:07:27,767 --> 00:07:29,868
and sing "You
Light Up My Life."
137
00:07:29,901 --> 00:07:31,200
I know.
138
00:07:32,267 --> 00:07:33,400
I'm eating.
139
00:07:33,434 --> 00:07:34,567
( giggles )
140
00:07:37,167 --> 00:07:38,734
So you are.
141
00:07:38,767 --> 00:07:41,734
No... I mean, I'm eating.
142
00:07:41,767 --> 00:07:44,133
ELAINE:
What are you talking about?
143
00:07:44,167 --> 00:07:46,868
Well, last night I picked up
a couple of rock musicians,
144
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:49,534
and I think I'm still
on my contact high.
145
00:07:49,567 --> 00:07:51,734
I've had guys smoke
powerful stuff
146
00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:54,834
in the back seat before,
but nothing like this.
147
00:07:54,868 --> 00:07:56,467
Come on, you still
can't be high.
148
00:07:56,501 --> 00:08:00,200
Oh, I hope I am, because
the only thing I can think about
149
00:08:00,234 --> 00:08:03,334
is the fact that my hair
is growing all the time.
150
00:08:03,367 --> 00:08:04,834
( laughter )
151
00:08:04,868 --> 00:08:06,767
I'd kill for a Twinkie.
152
00:08:06,801 --> 00:08:08,300
Oh, Alex,
there you are.
153
00:08:08,334 --> 00:08:10,467
Hey, Dee, what
are you doing here?
154
00:08:10,501 --> 00:08:12,467
Oh, these must be
your friends.
155
00:08:12,501 --> 00:08:14,167
Don't tell me
who they are.
156
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,234
I want to guess.
157
00:08:15,267 --> 00:08:16,968
Uh, oh, you must
be Elaine.
158
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:17,968
Yeah!
159
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,701
It's a pleasure
to meet you.
160
00:08:19,734 --> 00:08:22,534
I really admire
you working two jobs,
161
00:08:22,567 --> 00:08:23,901
raising children.
162
00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:25,367
That must be hard.
163
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,234
Yeah, it gets tough
sometimes, you know?
164
00:08:27,267 --> 00:08:29,200
But I got to
a point in my life
165
00:08:29,234 --> 00:08:31,367
where I decided I
either had to do this for myself
166
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:35,133
or... Alex, who am I
spilling my guts out to?
167
00:08:35,167 --> 00:08:36,634
I'm sorry,
this is Dee Wilcox,
168
00:08:36,667 --> 00:08:38,534
the lady I drove
around last night.
169
00:08:38,567 --> 00:08:41,467
Your names came up
in the conversation.
170
00:08:41,501 --> 00:08:43,167
I feel I know you all.
171
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:44,901
I feel I like you all.
172
00:08:44,934 --> 00:08:47,133
Whoever brought her in,
get her out.
173
00:08:48,634 --> 00:08:50,667
I bet you're Louie.
174
00:08:50,701 --> 00:08:53,167
Am I right?
175
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,133
Sell it someplace
else, sister.
176
00:08:58,767 --> 00:09:00,534
I am right.
177
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:08,067
Alex, I got the perfect
solution to our problem.
178
00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:09,167
What problem?
179
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,767
Whenever I want
to ride with you
180
00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:11,934
I'll catch a cab here.
181
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:13,133
No, Dee, this is crazy.
182
00:09:13,167 --> 00:09:15,267
You know, sometimes I have
to wait an hour
183
00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:16,667
before Louie
gives me a cab.
184
00:09:16,701 --> 00:09:17,834
Oh!
185
00:09:17,868 --> 00:09:19,934
Banta! Come over here.
186
00:09:19,968 --> 00:09:21,934
142-- immaculate.
187
00:09:21,968 --> 00:09:26,234
Don't say I never
done nothing for you.
188
00:09:26,267 --> 00:09:28,434
Uh, Mr. De Palma,
189
00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:33,133
if I tipped you $5,
would you consider, uh...
190
00:09:33,167 --> 00:09:35,667
Hey, Tony, get out of there!
191
00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:37,234
Get... get out, come on.
192
00:09:37,267 --> 00:09:38,334
Rieger!
193
00:09:38,367 --> 00:09:39,033
What?
194
00:09:39,067 --> 00:09:41,367
You got 142, come on.
195
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,400
Come on, get in,
get in.
196
00:09:43,434 --> 00:09:45,267
Taxi!
197
00:09:50,234 --> 00:09:52,734
Old age is a funny thing.
198
00:09:52,767 --> 00:09:56,300
I woke up this morning,
found myself wanting blue hair.
199
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:58,634
Well, don't rush
into anything, Dee.
200
00:09:58,667 --> 00:10:00,634
All right,
I'll think about it.
201
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,701
Did I tell you
how I met George?
202
00:10:02,734 --> 00:10:03,868
Your husband?
203
00:10:03,901 --> 00:10:06,200
No, I don't think
you mentioned that.
204
00:10:06,234 --> 00:10:07,300
He came up to me
205
00:10:07,334 --> 00:10:09,400
at the counter
where I was working,
206
00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:11,601
and he said,
"I want a box of candy
207
00:10:11,634 --> 00:10:14,634
"for the most beautiful girl
that I've ever seen.
208
00:10:14,667 --> 00:10:16,300
What would you recommend?"
209
00:10:16,334 --> 00:10:18,267
I gave him
210
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:23,067
some milk chocolate-covered
maraschino cherries
211
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:26,234
wrapped in a heart-shaped box.
212
00:10:26,267 --> 00:10:29,501
He bought it
and he handed it to me.
213
00:10:29,534 --> 00:10:31,868
Pretty slick, huh?
214
00:10:33,367 --> 00:10:35,167
That's terrific,
you know?
215
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,567
Yeah.
216
00:10:36,601 --> 00:10:39,000
It's too bad you
two didn't have enough time together.
217
00:10:39,033 --> 00:10:41,100
Yeah.
218
00:10:41,133 --> 00:10:42,901
Well...
219
00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:45,934
I miss George's crapola.
220
00:10:48,267 --> 00:10:50,367
You know,
it must be very strange
221
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,734
after a lifetime
on a limited budget
222
00:10:52,767 --> 00:10:54,534
to be rich all of a sudden.
223
00:10:54,567 --> 00:10:57,300
Oh, I felt
very uncomfortable at first.
224
00:10:57,334 --> 00:11:01,167
I was trying to live the
same old way I'd always lived,
225
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,667
be the same old Dee
I'd always been.
226
00:11:03,701 --> 00:11:07,334
And then one day I went shopping
in Bloomingdale's.
227
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:10,701
I had a terrible time
deciding what hat to buy.
228
00:11:10,734 --> 00:11:14,701
Suddenly I said to myself,
"What the hell, buy them all!"
229
00:11:14,734 --> 00:11:18,200
And that was
the day I decided
230
00:11:18,234 --> 00:11:24,100
being poor was best left
to people with no money.
231
00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:33,200
( horns honking )
232
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:35,200
Another wonderful evening.
233
00:11:35,234 --> 00:11:36,300
Yeah.
234
00:11:36,334 --> 00:11:38,434
Here's your fare.
235
00:11:42,834 --> 00:11:45,467
What did I give you
for a tip last night?
236
00:11:45,501 --> 00:11:47,133
Let's break a new record.
237
00:11:47,167 --> 00:11:49,934
Oh, come on, please,
let's not break a new record.
238
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,100
Oh, now, Dee
239
00:11:54,133 --> 00:11:56,868
I am not going
to take $100 from you.
240
00:11:56,901 --> 00:11:58,601
Now, look right at me.
241
00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:00,767
I'm not taking
$100 from you.
242
00:12:00,801 --> 00:12:02,801
Oh, please don't say no.
243
00:12:02,834 --> 00:12:05,067
Makes me feel patronized.
244
00:12:09,234 --> 00:12:10,234
Okay.
245
00:12:10,267 --> 00:12:11,934
You win, I lose.
246
00:12:11,968 --> 00:12:14,734
So why don't I feel worse?
247
00:12:16,701 --> 00:12:20,467
Well, maybe money doesn't
mean that much to me.
248
00:12:20,501 --> 00:12:22,267
What's important to me
249
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,834
is what I can buy
with my money:
250
00:12:24,868 --> 00:12:27,834
Nice food, nice clothes,
nice people.
251
00:12:27,868 --> 00:12:30,634
See you tomorrow, huh?
252
00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:44,300
Hey, Alex!
253
00:12:44,334 --> 00:12:48,167
You picking up the old
lady again tonight?
254
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,334
Yes, if you mean Dee, I am.
255
00:12:50,367 --> 00:12:54,067
Listen, this Dee doesn't
have a sister, does she?
256
00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:55,334
Would you believe it?
257
00:12:55,367 --> 00:12:57,200
These guys have been picking up
old ladies
258
00:12:57,234 --> 00:12:59,434
all over the city looking
for a setup like yours.
259
00:12:59,467 --> 00:13:01,667
It's not a setup, John.
260
00:13:01,701 --> 00:13:03,400
She's just a customer.
261
00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:05,734
Customer-- she's
the mother lode.
262
00:13:07,434 --> 00:13:08,901
You know, Alex, when I
first got this job,
263
00:13:08,934 --> 00:13:11,133
everyone told me
that the best fares
264
00:13:11,167 --> 00:13:12,601
were in the upper 80s.
265
00:13:12,634 --> 00:13:15,234
I thought they were
talking about streets.
266
00:13:16,868 --> 00:13:19,133
LOUIE:
Rieger!
267
00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:21,167
An anonymous donor
just called
268
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:24,133
and said she wants
to reupholster your cab.
269
00:13:24,167 --> 00:13:26,334
I wonder who it
could have been.
270
00:13:26,367 --> 00:13:29,701
( laughing )
271
00:13:29,734 --> 00:13:33,234
Did Mommy Warbucks
raise your allowance?
272
00:13:35,067 --> 00:13:39,601
That broad is older
than the continental shelf!
273
00:13:39,634 --> 00:13:44,734
Her age would make
a good bowling score!
274
00:13:44,767 --> 00:13:46,701
"Oh, Alex, be a dear
275
00:13:46,734 --> 00:13:50,467
and take the kitty out
for a wee-wee."
276
00:13:52,267 --> 00:13:55,801
( hysterical laughter
breaks into coughing )
277
00:13:55,834 --> 00:14:00,100
Hey, Louie, Louie,
take a quick gulp of this.
278
00:14:00,133 --> 00:14:01,334
Thank you.
279
00:14:03,901 --> 00:14:05,667
That's hot coffee!
280
00:14:05,701 --> 00:14:07,267
( laughing )
281
00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:15,334
DEE:
I have a little surprise for you.
282
00:14:15,367 --> 00:14:17,200
Oh, what's that?
283
00:14:17,234 --> 00:14:18,767
It's a gift.
284
00:14:18,801 --> 00:14:20,968
Oh, that's really
nice of you, Dee,
285
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,667
but I really can't
accept gifts from you.
286
00:14:23,701 --> 00:14:26,033
I mean, it's...
it's just not right.
287
00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:28,167
Would you accept it if it was
288
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,501
for your birthday?
289
00:14:29,534 --> 00:14:32,367
Well, yeah, I guess,
if it was my birthday.
290
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:36,634
Well, Happy Birthday,
early or late,
291
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,868
however you want
to call it.
292
00:14:38,901 --> 00:14:42,267
Oh, Dee!
293
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:45,033
That's really
a very nice sport coat.
294
00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:47,601
It's cashmere.
295
00:14:48,834 --> 00:14:51,033
Look, Dee, I'm
really feeling weird
296
00:14:51,067 --> 00:14:53,901
about driving you around
at night, you know?
297
00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:56,701
I mean, it's strange,
you know what I mean?
298
00:14:56,734 --> 00:14:59,033
Yeah, you're right,
it is strange.
299
00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:01,200
Why don't I drive you tonight?
300
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,033
No, no, that's not
what I'm talking...
301
00:15:03,067 --> 00:15:05,000
Whoa! Oh,
here's the place!
302
00:15:05,033 --> 00:15:06,267
Oh.
303
00:15:10,167 --> 00:15:12,868
"The Enchanted
Island Ballroom."
304
00:15:12,901 --> 00:15:16,067
Yeah, I've got to meet
some friends of mine here.
305
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:17,734
They're going to a dance.
306
00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:19,400
I've got to show up.
307
00:15:19,434 --> 00:15:22,133
Uh, now, uh, would
you, uh, wait for me?
308
00:15:22,167 --> 00:15:25,567
I, uh, shouldn't be
more than two or three hours.
309
00:15:25,601 --> 00:15:26,834
Two or three hours!
310
00:15:26,868 --> 00:15:29,100
Well, uh, how about
if I come back?
311
00:15:29,133 --> 00:15:30,267
Oh, no, wait.
312
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:33,767
Say, why don't
you just come in?
313
00:15:33,801 --> 00:15:36,067
Come on, Dee, you have
to be kidding.
314
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:37,634
No! Nobody even knows you
315
00:15:37,667 --> 00:15:39,734
and it's lovely
and warm in there
316
00:15:39,767 --> 00:15:42,000
and there's plenty
to eat and drink.
317
00:15:42,033 --> 00:15:43,801
You can listen
to the music.
318
00:15:43,834 --> 00:15:44,868
No, no, I think
319
00:15:44,901 --> 00:15:46,968
I'd feel out
of place, thank you.
320
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:50,400
Oh, they wouldn't
notice you, dear.
321
00:15:50,434 --> 00:15:51,968
Look, I'm not dressed.
322
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,234
Oh, sure, nothing
could be dressier
323
00:15:54,267 --> 00:15:55,767
than a cashmere jacket.
324
00:15:55,801 --> 00:15:57,100
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
325
00:15:57,133 --> 00:15:58,968
Well, I think
I'd need a tie.
326
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,067
Oh, yeah.
327
00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:02,067
Merry Christmas.
328
00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:10,701
( orchestra plays
fox-trot music )
329
00:16:19,501 --> 00:16:22,067
Listen, Dee, I'll be
waiting over there.
330
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:24,801
When you want to leave,
come get me, okay?
331
00:16:24,834 --> 00:16:27,167
Aw, no, come on
and visit a little.
332
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,267
Dee, I don't know
anybody here.
333
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:30,968
Oh, sure you do.
334
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,934
Uh, there's, uh,
Emily Simmons
335
00:16:32,968 --> 00:16:35,634
the one I told you
had 37 grandchildren.
336
00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:36,667
Oh, yeah.
337
00:16:36,701 --> 00:16:39,000
And there's
Mary Trueworthy.
338
00:16:39,033 --> 00:16:40,467
She's in DAR.
339
00:16:40,501 --> 00:16:45,701
And, uh, there's the gal
I told you had three facelifts.
340
00:16:45,734 --> 00:16:47,133
Bertha Farris.
341
00:16:47,167 --> 00:16:48,701
That's her.
342
00:16:48,734 --> 00:16:50,601
My God, I know
everybody here.
343
00:16:53,767 --> 00:16:56,234
Look, you see
that man over there
344
00:16:56,267 --> 00:16:58,133
with the,
uh, gray hair?
345
00:17:03,267 --> 00:17:04,868
Are you kidding?
346
00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:07,300
Oh, dear.
347
00:17:07,334 --> 00:17:09,067
I mean... I mean the one
348
00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:11,834
with the white carnation
in his lapel.
349
00:17:11,868 --> 00:17:13,167
Oh.
350
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,868
That's Weldon Manning.
351
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:18,734
Oh, yeah, I heard
you mention him.
352
00:17:18,767 --> 00:17:21,667
Yeah. I've had my eye
on him for a long time.
353
00:17:21,701 --> 00:17:23,634
I'm bringing him
along slowly.
354
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:25,567
You may not see
any smoke,
355
00:17:25,601 --> 00:17:27,167
but I happen to know
356
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,634
there's a fire
in that furnace.
357
00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:36,434
Oh, he's coming over here.
358
00:17:36,467 --> 00:17:37,734
Hello, Dee.
359
00:17:37,767 --> 00:17:40,634
Weldon, I didn't know
you were coming tonight.
360
00:17:40,667 --> 00:17:42,467
You look lovely
tonight, Dee.
361
00:17:42,501 --> 00:17:44,701
May I have the honor
of this dance?
362
00:17:44,734 --> 00:17:46,000
Oh, certainly.
363
00:17:46,033 --> 00:17:47,534
Would you excuse us, Alex?
364
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,534
Yes, certainly.
365
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:49,767
Thank you.
366
00:17:49,801 --> 00:17:52,634
I'll just be over here
holding up the wall.
367
00:17:57,734 --> 00:18:00,267
That's a cutie
you're with tonight.
368
00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:01,834
Excuse me?
369
00:18:01,868 --> 00:18:05,300
Oh. I'm with the one over
there, with the fox stole.
370
00:18:06,901 --> 00:18:09,267
That's the only thing
foxy about her.
371
00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:10,667
Yeah, that's too bad.
372
00:18:10,701 --> 00:18:12,767
Well, my Maserati
needs a tune-up,
373
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:16,167
and sometimes it's hard
to make ends meet, you know?
374
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,434
Yeah. I wonder
375
00:18:17,467 --> 00:18:19,367
when the government
will get around
376
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,434
to socialized
Maserati tune-ups?
377
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:22,534
Yes!
378
00:18:22,567 --> 00:18:24,200
Do you drive
one yourself?
379
00:18:24,234 --> 00:18:25,467
No.
380
00:18:25,501 --> 00:18:26,701
Actually I drive
381
00:18:26,734 --> 00:18:28,834
a different car
every night.
382
00:18:28,868 --> 00:18:31,734
Hey, �bueno!
383
00:18:31,767 --> 00:18:33,467
�Mucho mejor!
384
00:18:35,234 --> 00:18:38,200
Sometimes I wonder whether
it's all worth it--
385
00:18:38,234 --> 00:18:40,968
you know, spending hours
under the sun lamp,
386
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,734
visiting the hair stylist
four times a week
387
00:18:43,767 --> 00:18:46,267
doing pushups, situps,
day after day...
388
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:49,300
Aw, a man's got to do
what a man's got to do.
389
00:18:49,334 --> 00:18:50,534
Yes.
390
00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:53,634
By the way, they, uh...
they call me Ramon.
391
00:18:53,667 --> 00:18:54,634
Oh.
392
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,534
Call me, uh, Tandalayo.
393
00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:02,400
Hey, Tandalayo, are
you new on the circuit?
394
00:19:02,434 --> 00:19:05,434
Well, actually, Ramon,
I'm not on the circuit.
395
00:19:05,467 --> 00:19:07,300
I'm just here
with a friend.
396
00:19:09,167 --> 00:19:11,934
You mean you're dating
grandma for nothing?
397
00:19:11,968 --> 00:19:13,167
Now, look, Ramon,
398
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,634
in the first place,
she's not a grandma,
399
00:19:15,667 --> 00:19:17,968
in the second place,
we're not dating
400
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:21,200
and in the third place,
she's just a friend of mine.
401
00:19:21,234 --> 00:19:23,601
Hey, you're sensitive--
they like that.
402
00:19:23,634 --> 00:19:24,934
You will do well.
403
00:19:24,968 --> 00:19:28,734
Oh, excuse me, my lady
just got out a cigarette.
404
00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:30,434
Duty calls, you know.
405
00:19:30,467 --> 00:19:32,701
Yup.
406
00:19:32,734 --> 00:19:34,033
I like your tie.
407
00:19:34,067 --> 00:19:35,300
Thanks. I like your ribs.
408
00:19:35,334 --> 00:19:37,667
Hey, thank you.
409
00:19:41,601 --> 00:19:43,100
Hey, Alex...
410
00:19:43,133 --> 00:19:47,000
I'm afraid I have to spend
most of the evening with Weldon.
411
00:19:47,033 --> 00:19:49,000
Well, he seems
like a nice man.
412
00:19:49,033 --> 00:19:52,868
Yes, but, we can still have
one dance, can't we?
413
00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:53,968
I'd be charmed.
414
00:20:29,534 --> 00:20:32,133
Wasn't it great?
415
00:20:32,167 --> 00:20:34,267
Yeah, great.
416
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,667
Aw, lighten up
a little.
417
00:20:36,701 --> 00:20:38,234
For a young guy,
418
00:20:38,267 --> 00:20:41,634
you can be a real
drip sometimes.
419
00:20:41,667 --> 00:20:44,200
I won the Rhumba
contest, didn't I?
420
00:20:44,234 --> 00:20:46,701
Uh, no, I won
the Rhumba contest.
421
00:20:46,734 --> 00:20:48,200
I was carrying you.
422
00:20:48,234 --> 00:20:51,100
Dee, I didn't ask
to go to that dance.
423
00:20:51,133 --> 00:20:54,567
Oh, well next time, try to get
into the spirit of the thing.
424
00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:56,701
I'm not going to any more
dances, please.
425
00:20:56,734 --> 00:20:58,501
Oh, you just felt
self-conscious
426
00:20:58,534 --> 00:21:00,534
because your coat
is too small for you.
427
00:21:00,567 --> 00:21:01,934
Next time I'll get you
428
00:21:01,968 --> 00:21:04,367
a white suit like
that guy Ramon had.
429
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:05,767
Dee, Dee, I think it's time
430
00:21:05,801 --> 00:21:07,968
we called a halt
to this whole arrangement.
431
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,367
What do you mean?
432
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,734
We can't go on seeing
each other like this.
433
00:21:11,767 --> 00:21:12,868
We can't?
434
00:21:12,901 --> 00:21:13,801
No!
435
00:21:14,834 --> 00:21:16,834
I mean, look,
it's okay, I...
436
00:21:16,868 --> 00:21:19,467
we can see each other
once in a while,
437
00:21:19,501 --> 00:21:21,367
but, please,
no more money.
438
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,200
I can't handle it,
please.
439
00:21:23,234 --> 00:21:25,133
No more money, okay?
440
00:21:26,701 --> 00:21:28,400
I guess it's good-bye.
441
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:31,400
What?
442
00:21:31,434 --> 00:21:33,968
Wouldn't be the same
without the money.
443
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,801
What are you talking about?
444
00:21:36,834 --> 00:21:39,400
Well, money may not
mean that much to you
445
00:21:39,434 --> 00:21:42,400
but to me, it ranks
right up there with oxygen.
446
00:21:42,434 --> 00:21:45,634
It's the best way there is
of dealing with people.
447
00:21:45,667 --> 00:21:46,767
What about friendship?
448
00:21:46,801 --> 00:21:49,834
Well, next time you go
into a restaurant
449
00:21:49,868 --> 00:21:51,567
you tell the Maitre d'
450
00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:55,434
if he gives you a good table,
you'll be his buddy.
451
00:21:55,467 --> 00:21:58,234
Well, then, give your money
to Maitre d's and waitresses,
452
00:21:58,267 --> 00:21:59,300
somebody who wants it.
453
00:21:59,334 --> 00:22:01,300
But you don't have
to give me money, Dee.
454
00:22:01,334 --> 00:22:02,467
No, I know that
455
00:22:02,501 --> 00:22:05,200
but it wouldn't be
the same without money.
456
00:22:05,234 --> 00:22:07,300
I wouldn't be able
to trust you.
457
00:22:07,334 --> 00:22:09,567
You'd be more casual
about calling.
458
00:22:09,601 --> 00:22:11,133
You wouldn't be on time.
459
00:22:11,167 --> 00:22:13,801
Money makes people punctual.
460
00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:17,400
I know people gave their
whole lives to their children.
461
00:22:17,434 --> 00:22:20,200
Those children don't
even come to see them.
462
00:22:20,234 --> 00:22:23,000
If I had any kids,
you can bet your buttons
463
00:22:23,033 --> 00:22:27,434
I would put them on my payroll,
and they'd come to see me.
464
00:22:27,467 --> 00:22:29,434
Especially on payday.
465
00:22:29,467 --> 00:22:31,901
Aw, come on, don't
let's argue, Alex.
466
00:22:31,934 --> 00:22:34,000
I had a wonderful
time tonight.
467
00:22:34,033 --> 00:22:36,868
Here, come and pick me up
tomorrow at 4:00.
468
00:22:36,901 --> 00:22:38,534
I'm having my hair done.
469
00:22:38,567 --> 00:22:41,200
Damn it!
You are the most...
470
00:22:41,234 --> 00:22:42,334
Never mind.
471
00:22:42,367 --> 00:22:43,334
What?
472
00:22:43,367 --> 00:22:44,901
No, it's better
I don't say anything.
473
00:22:44,934 --> 00:22:47,467
No, say what you were thinking.
474
00:22:47,501 --> 00:22:49,567
I'm old enough
to take it.
475
00:22:49,601 --> 00:22:51,200
Okay, you want to hear
what I'm thinking?
476
00:22:51,234 --> 00:22:52,467
I'll tell you
what I'm thinking.
477
00:22:52,501 --> 00:22:54,000
I think this whole
arrangement stinks.
478
00:22:54,033 --> 00:22:56,334
I have never felt
so used in all my life.
479
00:22:56,367 --> 00:22:58,868
You know, I thought
that you really liked me.
480
00:22:58,901 --> 00:23:00,467
I thought we were friends.
481
00:23:00,501 --> 00:23:02,234
But that wasn't
what you had in mind, was it?
482
00:23:02,267 --> 00:23:05,367
I was just
a piece of merchandise.
483
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,868
Why do I sound
like Joan Crawford?
484
00:23:08,901 --> 00:23:12,868
Aw, don't stop,
it was just starting to be fun.
485
00:23:12,901 --> 00:23:16,200
Well, it may be fun for you
but it's not fun for me.
486
00:23:16,234 --> 00:23:19,567
I really don't enjoy being
with people I don't like.
487
00:23:19,601 --> 00:23:22,267
And I... I don't
like you anymore.
488
00:23:24,868 --> 00:23:28,367
Horse manure, you love me.
489
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,467
( chuckling )
490
00:23:31,501 --> 00:23:32,901
Yeah, I guess I do.
491
00:23:32,934 --> 00:23:35,734
Can we still have
lunch together?
492
00:23:35,767 --> 00:23:37,033
Okay, but only
if I pay.
493
00:23:37,067 --> 00:23:40,534
Aw, you're sweet, Alex.
494
00:23:40,567 --> 00:23:42,767
I just hope my stomach
495
00:23:42,801 --> 00:23:46,868
can take those dumps
you can afford.
496
00:23:56,901 --> 00:23:59,901
( theme music playing )
497
00:24:23,934 --> 00:24:25,734
WOMAN:
Good night, Mr. Walters.
498
00:24:25,767 --> 00:24:26,834
( grunts )
499
00:24:26,884 --> 00:24:31,434
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